The Hotflash inc podcast

110: 80s supermodel Kim Alexis: 'Hormones are natural too'

• Ann Marie McQueen • Episode 110

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In this episode, host and midlife and menopause journalist Ann Marie McQueen speaks with iconic American model Kim Alexis. 

They explore Kim's extensive career when she dominated the modeling industry. They talk about what it was like to appear on over 500 magazine – sometimes all of them at once – and cover her journey through competitive sports, her faith, clean living, marriage and menopause.  

Kim shares personal stories about her transition into menopause, her choice to use hormone therapy – and the controversial delivery method of pellets – and how she navigates various health claims and misinformation prevalent in the social media age. 

They also discuss the impact of environmental disruptors on health and, possibly, menopause, the evolving standards of beauty and self-image in aging, and the importance of self-care, self-inquiry, adaptation and outreach in midlife.

02:32 Kim Alexis on Social Media and Going Viral

03:01 Natural Beauty and Aging Gracefully

06:06 The Modeling Industry Then and Now

10:54 Health, Fitness, and Post-Modeling Career

12:30 Navigating Nutrition and Wellness Trends

21:13 Adapting to Life's Changes

21:19 Skincare from the Inside Out

22:32 Personal Skincare Routines

23:45 Hormonal Shifts and Menopause

28:33 Hormone Therapy Controversy

33:21 Emotional and Soul Searching

36:49 Finding Love Later in Life

39:02 Advice for Reinventing Yourself

42:40 Future Plans and Giving Back



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Kim Alexis:

to me, hormones. were something that I had and were lost. So I'm replacing something that was naturally in my body.

Ann Marie:

I'm Anne Marie McQueen, journalist and proud 50 ish woman, and we are here looking for the true truth in perimenopause, menopause, midlife, and beyond. Opening our minds to other possibilities is not always easy. Hot flash ink. You're all woman to me. All right, Anne Marie. Anyone who listens to this podcast will know that I've had a hard time finding help with my perimenopause and menopause symptoms over the years, whether it was trouble sleeping or extreme anxiety or even vagina stuff, I've encountered roadblock after roadblock and doctors who don't know anything about taking care of women like me. It made everything harder than it had to be. That's why I'm so happy that there are companies like mini health, stepping into the gap and sponsoring podcasts like this. They're supportive, comprehensive, and holistic approach to the menopause transition will provide you what we all need. Most a personalized care plan. Their virtual care clinic is to use and covered by most insurance plans. You can chat with your specialist during an appointment or message 24 seven. You don't have to deal with this alone. Any longer book your visit today at join midi. com. That's J O I N M I D I. com. My guest today really does need no introduction. I've never said that before, but I feel like it's, it's actually apropos right now. I had her magazine cover on the back of my door back in high school. Did you do that? Cut out magazine pictures and put them on the back of your bedroom door. Anyway, I had hers on mine and also pasted in a collage on the front of my binder, which really was like, you know, a 1980s esque. Vision board. If you ask me, Kim Alexis is one of the most recognized faces in the modeling industry. Having been on the cover of more than 500 magazines and appearing in six sports illustrated swimsuit issues. She's been in commercials. She's been a correspondent host and guest host for everything from good morning, America to Fox news. She's also written 11 books, fiction and nonfiction, and is well known for her dedication to clean living and aging gracefully before becoming a model. She was a competitive swimmer. And after she ran. Eight marathons and three triathlons. She passed my Instagram a few weeks ago when she talked about cutting off her hair. And my first thought was, Hello old friend, where have you been? I looked up everything about her. I found out she's 63 and she does all this great content. And my second thought was maybe Kim Alexis wants to talk to the perimenopause and menopause about the intersection of menopause and midlife, and sure enough she did. Thank you so much for speaking with me.

Kim Alexis:

Yes,

Ann Marie:

this is really exciting. I'm sure everyone starts this way, but, um, you were my favorite model. Like you were on the back of my bedroom door, you know, when I made a collage, I think, I think I'm 53. So I think you're 63, you're 10 years older than me. And I, yeah, I made a collage and you were in it. And also I had a binder and I made a collage on that and you were in that.

Kim Alexis:

Oh, wow.

Ann Marie:

Yeah. I just loved you. Not in a weird stalker way. Just in, I came across you on Instagram and I, I, you know, it's so funny because people sort of disappear and then they reappear and I saw you and I was like, there she is. Oh my goodness. Wow. This is amazing.

Kim Alexis:

Yeah. So somehow I don't know how. Things get into a queue of being popular.

Ann Marie:

So, So you went, you like, it's not just my perception. Like you did that video and you, and it kind of like propelled things. Yeah. All of a sudden people, I mean, it had over 20, 000 views and people were saying, wow, there you are. You're you just showed up in my feed. Yeah. Yeah. What makes that happen? I don't know. I don't know. So what happened? Like what that day? What happened? What made you make that video? A woman commented on Instagram and I was doing another video and I, I love talking about, here's an ingredient or have you thought of this, or this is what I've learned, or this is what I find that's healthier. And And so all I was doing was just minding my own business and posting things for other people and she comments and says, I can't even listen to your videos because all I'm doing is focusing on your gray roots. Go get him touched up, girlfriend. And so I got I kind of just got mad and responded to that. I'm like, listen, you have trouble and you're focusing on unfollow. I don't need that. I'm not doing anything to my face. I'm not going to, I'm staying natural. That's who I am. And some people are, they just took things the wrong way, but 98 percent said, amen, I'm with you. Welcome to the club. It seems, it seems to me. One thing I've learned lately is like, people are projecting, right? Like, there's something about your roots that's bothering her. There must be. Like, why would it bother her?

Kim Alexis:

Yeah.

Ann Marie:

Enough that she had to say something.

Kim Alexis:

As I mainly said, I don't color my hair anymore because I get a headache. Okay. It gives me a bad because I'm talking about toxins all the time. And so, and I'm talking about living naturally. So I'm not going to get Botox. I'm not going to get fillers. Yeah. And then, you know, not coloring my hair seemed to be a big new topic.

Ann Marie:

You were also cutting it off. Like you just, you were deciding to cut it off then, or did the, did it going viral sort of lead you to,

Kim Alexis:

I think that it was in the back of my mind, like, what do I do? It's only getting longer. And, uh, it was then now that I've made this commitment and it's gone viral to do the gray. Then I've got all this. Blonde. And it was just me using sun in, in my hair, which is what we used when we were modeling. We never colored our hair back in the day.

Ann Marie:

You didn't? No. That's crazy.

Kim Alexis:

Well, this thing, this is 45 years ago. I mean, yes they had salons. My mother went every week, but I didn't want to go because my mother went. So I thought it was something for old people today. I don't know. We just, none of the girls went to salons. We didn't really highlight, we didn't do any of that stuff and nobody asked us to. That's so funny that you say that because my friend's daughters that are, you know, 14 and 15 are getting bailage and all these really expensive things. And I was like, my gosh, I didn't even do anything to my eyebrows until I was 30. I didn't, I can't even imagine the bill, you know, cause I, I didn't even have money for all that stuff. Yeah, exactly. But they're all getting everything manicures and pedicures and teenagers are growing up with all this stuff and uh, yeah.

Ann Marie:

Even facials. Yeah. Yeah. I mean there, when I first started working at 18, we didn't have facials. We just worked so kind weird. That's crazy. Yeah. Like this, all this extra stuff sort of came I models now that are 18 or 20, they're getting probably all sorts of like microderm abrasion and all this extra stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Was there airbrushing?

Kim Alexis:

There was airbrushing, yes. Yes, so I was in a grocery store one time and I was on at some point like up to eight covers in a month, like on all the groceries to like, Beau, Glamour, Madazell, Bazaar, all of them, right? And so this woman comes up to me in Gristedes in New York City and she's like, I've been looking at your face all day and I'm like, well, thank you. I thought it was because I was on the cover and she, and I don't know, she says, I'm a retoucher. And I'm like,

Ann Marie:

oh, Oh, she literally had been looking at your face. How did you handle that kind of attention at that age?

Kim Alexis:

We were isolated. We didn't have feedback. We didn't get much, um, response at all from a fan base. At that point, I wasn't doing speaking engagements, so we were just on closed sets working all the time. And the more I worked, the Less I socialized with other people, so we didn't have that feedback. So to me, I wasn't sure who I was affecting. I had no idea that it was, I didn't have ways to speak to you. I didn't have ways to get that feedback.

Ann Marie:

Yeah, I was thinking about that because the models of that time were really sort of voiceless. Like you really were true. Your faces and there wasn't so much mystery about what you would be like. And now as we know models, I mean, you know, like Kendall Jenner, you can watch her on a TV show. It's so much different. Um, yeah. Yeah. Would you, so, so you think did that help your mental health? Like there wasn't the challenges.

Kim Alexis:

I think it kept us in check, but, uh, for some, I mean, I was just one of those, put my head down and work. And if something came of it, fine. If nothing came of it, I, just felt work was important. Um, but to others, I think they needed that feedback. Like, why am I doing this? I could be doing something else. Yeah. So for me, it was important for other girls. They either didn't have, I mean, sometimes they'd show up, uh, just not ready or not looking great because they could, or they were partying too much. And I mean, I probably did that a couple of nights, a couple of days also, but we didn't know, we didn't know how it, how it affected the rest of the world.

Ann Marie:

And, um, when you look back on that time, you know, we hear a lot of how brutal things were back then, body image and those sorts of things. And I don't know that it's any different now with social media and, and everything being everywhere. But did, did you have that? You were an athlete, so you, you were strong and you continue to run and do everything in your modeling career. But did you have. That feedback that made you doubt yourself

Kim Alexis:

we did from the stylists and from the photographers on set. So yeah, that was the body image especially was super important back then, uh, meaning they wanted you to be super thin. And so I battled that all the time because I was muscular. I was athletic. I wasn't ever super skinny. So dude, did that change? Could that change? And so, yeah, no, that became a big battle.

Ann Marie:

How did you deal with it? I didn't deal with it.

Kim Alexis:

Well, I went through a lot of different stupid diets and stupid things of trying to stay thin. And, um, at some point I started to realize I can't maintain this. I can't. is not who I am. And if I need to be this, I need to go find something else to do. Um, and then I started running marathons to prove I was an athlete versus a skinny smoking model or, you know, somebody that stayed home and was. Yeah. Stick thin.

Ann Marie:

Yeah. Were you, um, were you, were you friends with the girls that, you know, were in the Apple documentary, like the Cindy Crawford, did you guys hang out? Like. They're your age. So they're 10 years younger. Ah, right. Okay.

Kim Alexis:

Those snots, those snots got where they were because we paved the way. So.

Ann Marie:

Okay. I melded you. I melded you all together. They're my age. Isn't that interesting? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. They're 90s, we were 80s. Yeah. Who is in your core? Your, your cohort then?

Kim Alexis:

Carol Ault, Kelly Emberg, um, esme, I don't know if you know, Iman, um, Cheryl Teagues was a, I'm sorry, um, Christy Brinkley was a little bit, she's about five years older than I am, five, six, um, so we were like Big in the 80s, I think. Working in the 80s.

Ann Marie:

Did you make as much money as they did 10 years later?

Kim Alexis:

No. No. I don't hear a thank you. Do you hear a thank you anywhere? No, no, no.

Ann Marie:

During your modeling career, were you thinking about what you were going to do after? Because everyone always talks about how it's a youthful career. Was that on your mind? Because you've done so many things. Was that by just the scenery?

Kim Alexis:

In a way, um, I, I can't say like 18, 19, 20. It was at that point, I still thought I could go back so that I could have gone back to college and gone into what I was going to do before I was discovered, which was pharmacy as I got older. And once I had my Revlon contract, I had that for like three or four years and I was paid to be exclusive, which meant not working with many other magazines. So people or the business became used to me, not. appearing everywhere. And so, um, once that contract ended, then I kind of looked around like, Oh, like now what? So then I, um, at this point I was living in Florida and I owned two health clubs. And so I started doing little. promos for the health clubs, which were fitness tips. And so I would have like a two or three minute segment on the local news once a week from my health club, like on a bike or out doing something and just having fitness tips. And so then Good Morning America picked me up and that's how I started as the fashion correspondent on Good Morning America from them seeing those little clips.

Ann Marie:

And now you're doing tons of content like you write for men's journal and other articles. I mean, I think the, the nutrition and fitness scene is bananas right now. And I've been writing about it for 30 years. I'm wondering what you think when you're looking on social media, like, I don't know what to think. I don't know what a person does. If they know less than I do, like I still get confused all the time, I'm sick of it, like I'm really, really sick of everyone telling me what to do and how to be, and then I think I have one thing right, and then you gotta do the, I'm just, sorry, I'm rambling, but I'm just wondering what do you think?

Kim Alexis:

Yeah, no, I get it. Um, number one, there's misinformation on social media, and there are no, What's the word? Not parameters or boundaries, but there's no real rule that says you have to speak truth. So when I'm writing for men's journal, if I make a claim like oranges have vitamin C, I've got to prove that. So I have to put links in the tie to other articles that I mean, oranges that have vitamin C is fairly basic, but there's so many claims that you're making about like adaptogens or, um, you know, different herbs and things that if you're not being able to cite your work, then it might not be legitimate. And that's a whole different ball game. So that is something. That is much more monitored and Google is the one who actually oversees that they don't want people making false claims and and having someone Google something and lead them down the wrong path. So I like that. I like the accountability. I like the The being able to trust a certain source or site and we don't have that on social media. So some of the claims and we can go down rabbit holes. I mean, you can go from one video to the next to the next and they're all making these claims or this is the only bread you should eat or stop with this or no oils or this one has this in it. And even if it says it's natural, it's not. And it's like, ah, yeah.

Ann Marie:

You have a parasite. That's the latest one I see all the time is I have a parasite because I, I grind my teeth. I definitely have a parasite. And yeah, and it's like, Oh, I don't know. I don't know about that. I, I didn't.

Kim Alexis:

Well, and you don't have the time. See when I'm writing, if I'm looking at that, I've got to go find where that came from. So many people don't have that time or know how to do that. But, um, Yeah, I'm, I'm going to go look it up after this.

Ann Marie:

Well, I asked my doctor and she said, you know, people do get parasites and you can do a cleanse. It's fine. But it's just, I sometimes I think that people, the way people use fear to, um, you know, you're like, you're just,

Kim Alexis:

Walnut tincture.

Ann Marie:

Yeah. Exactly. A wormwood. But yeah, you know, you know, um, she did, my doctor said she does a parasite cleanse once a year. Who knew? I don't know. She said it's just a thing she does. But it's the way, what I read, it's like you're ambling along, you're in a good mood, you're having a coffee, you give yourself five minutes and then you just see something you never knew you had to worry about.

Kim Alexis:

Right. The one that killed me was, and it's probably true, is that chocolates have cadmium and lead in them. Right. Right. Right. And I'm like, wait, what?

Ann Marie:

So you're a clean living aficionado. This is a road that you can go too far down to, right? Like, where do you, how do you, how do you keep a healthy balance, um, in your life?

Kim Alexis:

Well, there's only so many things I can change. Uh, even with my makeup, like I'm due for new makeup. So now I've got to research and. Figure out, okay, what's better, what's new on the market. Uh, and I want to support the small companies that are really making, um, struggles to, to get ahead. Um, so for me that it's research and it's, what can you fit into your life? How can you feel peaceful and good about it? Because you, again, we could lay in bed all night worrying about, oh my gosh, the air I'm breathing or the EMTs. And I mean, it's like. It's crazy. So we're always going to be surrounded by it. So in our tiny bubble, how can we daily chip away or weekly or whatever and make a little change here and there? And you have lived like I did through the 70s where no one, when no one cared about anything and everything was plastic and convenient and, uh. How about you trusted? So like if you were having, I thought about I had peanut butter this morning. I'm like, I remember this peanut butter 40 years ago. And I'm like, I didn't even look to see if it had sugar or hydrogenated oils, and I'm like, Fred!

Ann Marie:

What's, what are some, like, what are some pillars? Say three things that you are adamant about.

Kim Alexis:

My three things is one, laundry detergent, because it's on the clothes we wear and absorb through our skin during the day, and at night it's in our sheets. So that's a big one. Um, to me, foods, if possible, there's so many foods. Number one, of course, shop the outer aisle, which is, is less messed with as possible. And then try and go organic if you can on, on, on some, some things. Uh, third. Um, I mean, skin care is important to me, so moisturizer and my cleanser and just sometimes just a, uh, sure bar of soap and then putting on so cleaning my face is not as important as moisturizing and protecting it. Another one I would even say is, and you may do this as those zeolites where you're cleaning out the heavy metals in your body and the toxins. So I take the little drops of, of, um, the zeolite mixture that I like. And so, um, I find that I just feel better. Water is very important because water is something we have every single day. So one of my problems with my water was that I was doing the reverse osmosis and now I have no minerals. And so then I started cramping. Now I'm, I, I got where I was waking up between two and four in the morning and they're like, that is a symptom of being low in minerals. And I'm like, That's me. So I've just started putting more minerals and making sure I'm supplementing with minerals. Number one, we're depleted with, even if you have an organic vegetable, sometimes it may not have all the minerals that we used to have in our soil because we don't rotate our crops or we don't give it a seven, seven year rest, you know, like in the Bible, where it says, Six years you plow your fields and the seven year, you just leave it and let it rest.

Ann Marie:

That's funny. I don't hear many people talking about water and people have always made fun of me. I have a friend here who imports water from Spain and he's obsessed with mineral water and he explained to me, Emery, you need the mineral. I didn't really know. I didn't really think about it. I was drinking filtered water from the tap, which is desalinated, which probably isn't the greatest. And once I started drinking, he said, just drink one bottle a day. And, um, once I started drinking it, I really did notice the difference in having those minerals, like having them, and I'm sure you noticed when you started. Right. No, I don't cramp anymore and sleep is better. I don't know. It's really something.

Kim Alexis:

Yeah. Yeah. But it's interesting that he gets them from Spain. So then there's that thing of, okay, this is where I live. So what do I eat? That's indigenous to me. Yeah. So if you live in Alaska, why are you eating bananas and coconuts?

Ann Marie:

Yeah. I live in the UAE and I'm drinking water from Spain.

Kim Alexis:

So again, you can go down a rabbit hole, but at some point you've got to stop and say, hey, this is as good as I can do right now and see how that goes and then look around later and see if there's a different option.

Ann Marie:

I don't know. Well, I think there are a lot of people too, wandering around having, you can make a real, um, psychological issue of this. Like it can become, uh, and I know I've even gone down that road where I've gotten just too weird about it. Like I'm just like, I'm not touching the cash register receipt. And as I've gotten a little bit older, I'm like, you know what? I'm doing mostly okay. I don't need to be perfect in this. And I don't know if it's getting older. That sort of relax.

Kim Alexis:

There's a nutritionist, Dr. Joel Something I forgot his last name and I remember he said, as long as you get vegetables, I don't even care if they're organic because your body has, if you support your body enough, it can, it can filter and process certain things out. So that's a doctor telling you, I'd rather you have the vegetables and go for organic. Maybe some people can't afford the. organic. Yeah. So there's, there's different options. There's different things and we have to all adapt. I mean, a part of our whole life is adapting.

Ann Marie:

Did you know I also have a Substack? That's a fancy way of saying I have a newsletter. Each week I share research, news, products, tips, and tricks from the world of menopause and midlife. Sometimes they even write an essay about my own life and what I'm going through. Hot flash ink on Substack is where I pull together everything that's here and in the menosphere and break it all down so we can try and make sense of it all. Join more than 5, 000 women, practitioners, CEOs, and more, and become a subscriber today. Subscribe! You can also get my podcast and special video and audio drops. You can't get anywhere else. Sign up today at hot flashing. substack. com. So you mentioned skincare, your skin looks amazing. Uh, and I know I was reading your bio and you mentioned skincare sort of. Like your skin is a system, skincare from the inside out. Sometimes I feel like people don't really understand that. I feel like it's almost like the mind body connection. People don't understand that your skin is like a living representation of your inside. Can you talk about that a little bit?

Kim Alexis:

Well, there's two different things. So the first part we'll touch later, but the second part is you can almost see how a person lives by their skin, whether they've had a rough life or, um, it, that personality does show up of how you view the world. Um, and it. Some, some people have rougher looking skin and some people are very peaceful and very calm and quiet and you see their skin is peaceful. So yes, there's something to that. Um, but then there's the whole inner thing of beating your skin from the inside and what you eat from the inside affects your outside. And so that's why I'm very careful about trying to just maintain, um, a healthy way of living and eating all the time because it shows up in my face.

Ann Marie:

Do you have any treatments that you like, that you like doing?

Kim Alexis:

Um, I have lately been treated to facial. So I think treating treat my skin by being treated to facials. I hadn't had him in a long time. So, um, it's it was fun to be able to just go and get a facial and realize, huh, it's been a long time. So, um, that was good. But treatments, not really. I mean, I do masks myself or whatever, but And it's just, um, I don't, I don't fuss, I'm not a fussy person, I don't spend a lot of time in the bathroom, I don't, I don't spend a lot of time putting makeup on, and that's just me. Some people take a long time to get ready, I just, I can't do it.

Ann Marie:

No, I don't either. I often think, like, I'm, I don't know, I'm not a real woman, like, I, there's the women who do that, and I don't know what you call me, because I can get ready really fast, and I enjoy getting ready.

Kim Alexis:

Well, I, I kind of look in the mirror, and I'm like, I don't have anything else to do, so I'm just gonna go. Yeah. Right. It's like, I don't know what else. Some people can play with things and, and that's just their personality.

Ann Marie:

So half flushing we're kind of the intersection of midlife and menopause and perimenopause here. So I'm curious about your experiences with, uh, hormonal shifts.

Kim Alexis:

Um, so I, and I'm the oldest of two, my sister and I, so I remember I was 52 and I was somewhere and I realized that the monthly cycle started being interrupted. So I called her and I'm like, Okay. This is the age, you know, two, two years from now, you're going to be having this. And so I kind of wanted to give her a heads up. And so it was, it took a while for my body. Um, sometimes I'd have a light cycle and sometimes it was so heavy. It was, it was awful. So it, it, I, you know, I'm sure everyone's is different. Mine lasted like. Two, three years. And it's interesting, kind of like giving birth to a baby, you forget after you've gone through it.

Ann Marie:

Oh, that's funny. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like all, all crappy things. You forget about it. You know, like you, even relationships that were bad, I find myself reminiscing about people that I never thought I would or,

Kim Alexis:

Oh, they weren't so bad. Yeah. Cause you just remember the good stuff. Did you have any, um, other symptoms that you like physical or emotional or. Yeah, I mean, emotional. At that point, I was living on my own, so I didn't get feedback from a husband. Um, but as far as, um, just moody and weird and brain fog, probably. And at some point, I had to go to a gynecologist for an exam and they tested blood work. And she's like, you have no hormones. And so I'm on pellets, so I take the hormone. Yeah.

Ann Marie:

What, uh, estrogen. And

Kim Alexis:

I need all three. I need estrogen and testosterone pellets, and then I take progesterone every night. Okay. And what difference, like how did you feel that made you feel? Um, it's, it, if I could describe it, it was that the silent scream inside my body went away, if that makes any sense.

Ann Marie:

Yeah. You just felt.

Kim Alexis:

What calm or well, I just felt more complete like back like a reset button was pushed And my gynecologist said that she says your body inside is screaming because you're so imbalanced And so when my hormones are put in and every three months then my body kind of breathes a sigh of relief And it's like oh, yes back to normal.

Ann Marie:

Can you feel it when you're getting closer to the to the re? Placement or whatever you call it. You can feel. What do you feel like?

Kim Alexis:

Uh, just that I get a little snappy and, um, don't feel the same. I think I just don't feel, um, as aware, not aware. Um, I don't even know what the word is. Um, there's like a weird inner agitation.

Ann Marie:

Okay. Okay. And then when you get them replaced, it's gone.

Kim Alexis:

Yeah, the, the kind of the, the inner body peace comes back, nothing to do with your mind, but more just your body breathing a sigh of relief.

Ann Marie:

And so it's really your feels your body. It's really your body more than your mind.

Kim Alexis:

Yes,

Ann Marie:

so interesting. And is this something that you. You, you and your doctor talk about you staying on for a long time.

Kim Alexis:

Yeah, I mean, I don't look too far ahead because things can change, but I don't, because I've started it, I don't know if I have the ability to make them anymore, but I wasn't making them then. So some people would say, well, you need to stay natural or you need to let your body do what it does. But we have messed up our systems with different parabens and all the different toxins that are out there and their hormone disruptors. So. I've been messed with, so I got to go put things back. So if I was living in a perfect world, if I was living in the garden of Eden, I wouldn't have these problems, but we are bombarded and we are thrown into imbalance. And so it's up to us to struggle either by doing nothing or trying to reset as, as best you can. So that's my choice. You don't have to do it. Nobody else has to do it, but it works for me.

Ann Marie:

And did you have a struggle because you're like a natural type person? Was it, was it a decision for you or did you wrestle with it?

Kim Alexis:

I did a bit. Um, but to me, hormones. were something that I had and were lost. So I'm replacing something that was naturally in my body. Same with my thyroid because I'm on thyroid medication. So it is just replacing something that wasn't there.

Ann Marie:

It's interesting, um, to hear you talk about that because there's really is a lot of polarization in this menopause discussion. And I feel like there's, People pushing hormone therapy and then there's people pushing being natural. And it reminds me a little bit of childbirth and, and do

Kim Alexis:

drugs or no drugs.

Ann Marie:

Yeah. Yeah. I will say that, um, I've done a lot of interviews on various things, but pellets. I would say it's one of the most controversial things about this space. Have you heard about the controversy?

Kim Alexis:

Well, yes, I've gotten some feedback from people saying, Oh, well, you might have more of a chance of breast cancer. Uh, so it's like, you know what? Uh, I believe that my body is balanced and it's back, as I said, where I think that I should be to function at a normal place. So why would that cause any I don't know. Disease of some sort.

Ann Marie:

No, it's more, I feel like the pellet conversation is more, I see videos of like, if your doctor gives you pellets, run the other way. These are dangerous. They can give you these super physiological levels of hormones. And then I talk to doctors who prescribe them and say that they work great. And I talk to people who are on them and they work great, but it really seems to be one of the most divisive issues. Yeah. I feel. Yeah. Have you ever had anyone saying that to you? Have you ever talked about it?

Kim Alexis:

Well, let's put it this way. If I stopped taking pellets right now, I think that I would be a mess in different ways. That inner mess of just feeling inside. So for me, um, I need to do, I'm doing so much right now that I can't imagine, um, feeling bad or not being at my top level. So I do whatever it takes. And to me, I don't see that negative side, so I'm going to continue doing what I'm doing.

Ann Marie:

Oh, that's amazing. It's, it seems to me one of these weird things in our world where millions of people are doing it and getting, uh, relief from it, but there's people saying it's dangerous. Like I'm nervous if I put out a clip of you talking about pellets that you're going to get a whole bunch of backlash. That's how, how heated it is.

Kim Alexis:

Yeah.

Ann Marie:

Do you care?

Kim Alexis:

I don't know. Backlash is backlash. But, I think each person has a different, I mean, their body reacts differently to things, what they've been exposed to is different. I mean, I've traveled other countries. I don't know if any of that has to do with anything or the stress level of what I've had to deal with and, and work and how that's different than somebody that grew up in a small town and didn't ever really move. Um, And has a life with family all around them and a support. So I don't know. I'm not sure what makes that but we need to stop pointing our fingers at everyone else and just say, Okay, she's doing that now what's good for me, would that work for me is that something I should consider. Or not, but not that screaming and pointing the fingers thing. That's just, it's, there's too much of that right now, too much of it. We need to, and especially as women, we need to support each other. And I think, remember when you have, before you had children, you wanted to hear everyone's labor story. You wanted to know, Oh, how did you, how'd you know you were in labor or how, how did, and it was different for every person, but as you were going through it, you just wanted to hear the stories because then it. It helped you or it gave you more of a, a big picture of something or gave you peace, whatever it was, but we learned from stories. So we have to tell each other our own stories.

Ann Marie:

And I really like how you frame menopause too, because I mean, there's some really smart women who are working in the medical field who are saying the reason women seem to be having such a hard time is probably due to sort of like an environmental evolutionary mismatch. We weren't, you know, previously, it's not that menopause is new because some people say that, oh, it's only a hundred years old or women used to die at 50. It's not that really, it's just, you know, a hundred, 200, 300 years ago, we didn't have to deal with all of these, these things.

Kim Alexis:

Or less people were talking about it or felt comfortable talking about it. Yeah. Yeah. They were not allowed to. Even my parents, I mean, my mom's in her 80s, but I'm not so sure if she had like luncheons and sat there and discussed her hormones and there weren't options either. But I don't think that there were as many environmental disruptors. So we've had to make different support systems because of how we messed with everything else, in my mind.

Ann Marie:

When you went through menopause, did you have any sort of like, emotional shift, or soul shift, or did you feel like a shift in yourself?

Kim Alexis:

I probably did because I was at that point divorcing my ex, so I was going and again, was that from hormones or was that from a situation? I'm not sure a little bit of both. But yeah, I went through an awful lot. And so I knew for me to be better, I needed to do soul searching and figuring out why I chose this or why I reacted that way, all that stuff to try and make a better me. How did you do that? How did you do that? Well, I'm a Christian, so talking to God and staying close to him and, and. literally singing, you know, praise songs helped in some ways for my peace level. Um, I would do a lot of hiking and just tuning in. Okay. Why do I feel this way? I asked myself a lot of questions. Why did I allow that person to yell at me? Or why did I feel I had to defend myself? Or why did I cry when that movie came on? What touched me? So it's that self evaluation without being self centered.

Ann Marie:

Yeah. Yeah. So just lots of questions that you didn't ask yourself when you were younger.

Kim Alexis:

Right. Right. I don't know. If I look back at my younger self, I'd probably be like, who, who are you?

Ann Marie:

Well, I think when you're younger, you don't ask questions. You maybe judge yourself because you cried or because you did this or because you did that. You don't, the self inquiry thing is what comes later. It's really interesting. Were you nicer to yourself when you got, when you got older, would you say?

Kim Alexis:

Yeah. Yes, became nicer. I in some ways had to and be more graceful because things are changing. Uh, so in that way, I mean, I was applauded for exterior looks. And those exterior looks are changing and shifting and not the same as they were in their twenties. And some people still expect us to look the way we did because they don't want to get older. So they know they saw me on magazines, whatever age they were, and then they see me older and they're like, wait, if she looks older, that must mean I'm older.

Ann Marie:

That's a lot. That's a big burden.

Kim Alexis:

Yeah, that's their problem, not mine.

Ann Marie:

I always remember watching the Oscars with my parents, and I guess they would be ten years younger than me, and I remember them saying, God, he got old. God, she got old. And I'd think, whatever. Like, why are you going on and on about it? And now I completely understand when I watch. Um, shows, and I see people that are, you know, 20 years older than me, and it's like, wow, because you're just seeing your future, you're seeing yourself, you're seeing the passage of time. But I never really thought about that, how that feels when you're one of those people.

Kim Alexis:

Yeah, but some age fast, and others are, wow, for their age, like, she's 80 and she's still doing this and then you get, um, admirable, I guess, in a way and, and, and support them and come alongside them. So I, I like seeing someone who's older, but refined and like, like a good wine.

Ann Marie:

You found love late, later in life, you've, you've remarried? Yes. I saw a handsome fellow on your Instagram.

Kim Alexis:

Yeah, I've been married for six years and he's a different personality than my first two husbands. I'm a number three. Jeff always says I'm number three. Uh, so for me, uh, I, again, I had to work on me to be able to realize that that was, he was who was my other half. Who really became, um, we never fight, it's always peaceful, um, and so I'm a different person and more supported and lifted up because he allows that and he, he does that for me. That's amazing.

Ann Marie:

Okay. For a single, I'm single, still hoping to, uh, what, what's your advice to change, to do that in, you know, to track that kind of person.

Kim Alexis:

I think you need to work on you only. I mean, you can do that whole weird thing of. the universe and how do you attract that one person or whatever? I don't know, but each one has their own different story and it's almost when you're least looking for it and least expecting it, um, that things happen. It was like that. I've been in lawsuits or, you know, people suing me before and I was like, Oh, and It was when I was already past it and on to something else and had almost released it that all of a sudden the, the results or resolve would come in and I'm like, Oh, okay, that's the answer to that versus I've been desperate and I needed this and so to me I find that the quicker I can get over something and realize it's just a stepping stone of me growing and learning. Um, Thank you. and release it and let go of it, the quicker things resolve. And so it was like that finding a husband that you can't be desperate. I think men smell that don't want it. So for me, I had to be solid and true to myself of who I was. And when I was that way, I could attract the type of man that I wanted to be with long term.

Ann Marie:

I think a lot of women when they hit 50 ish are worried about being invisible. I hear that a lot. And I always say, look, like. If you think you're going to be invisible, you're going to be invisible. It's you need to be visible to yourself, but for anyone who's sort of at that age and worrying about their role and what their future is, because I hear my friends even saying, I'm too old for that. I'm too old for that. You know, you've done so much and you keep reinventing yourself. What, what's your advice for that kind of a mindset?

Kim Alexis:

I, I've been put on this earth to do things and I love searching and, and. Turning the corner like, Oh, is that some new opportunity? I didn't ever think of it, but I could do that. So it's that keeping positive and understanding that I have something to contribute to society. We are all valuable and the person listening to this is great at something that I'm terrible at. So there's a lot of things I'm really terrible at and I have to hire people to help me. Um, and when I learned to stay in my lane and do what's my husband's really good at identifying that. He says, you don't have time for this. Let's, let's find somebody to help you in this area. And so The busier you get, the more you need help and you need people around you to lift you up. I, at one point, was doing nothing when I first divorced and I was volunteering at a hospital. I had plenty of time for that. So, If you're listening and you don't have things to do or you feel no worth, it's good to go volunteer. It's good to give your time. Number one, it gets your focus off you and your problems, and it helps somebody else. And that not only makes you feel good, but it's obviously good for them. So I still do a lot of charity work. Um, I I'm a big believer in giving back because so much was given to me. Um, it's required for me to give back to others.

Ann Marie:

I always feel like that movement creates movement, too. Like, you might not know what to do, but if you, like, if you do that volunteering thing, you never know what just that forward momentum could end up with.

Kim Alexis:

Well, even finding a new best girlfriend or something, I don't know. I mean, if it's a book club just get out there and find new things. So when, when I first divorced, I moved right away to Colorado and I went on meetup. And so I was, and I was thinking I was like pretty fit, but I'd moved from Florida. So in this meetup, it had, you know, going hiking and whatever. So then they, I said, okay, I'm going to sign up. And then they said, okay, well, you need to go get these ice cleats. And I'm like, Ice cleats and I didn't understand it right from Florida. So I'm like ice cleats. Okay. Okay. I could get ice cleats. And then they said, okay, well, next week we're going to go and we're going to start at 8000 feet and we're going to run up to 12, 000 feet and then we're going to come back down and then we're go have pancakes. And I'm like, wait, what? No. So I realized that there, there are people out there doing so many things with so many different, um, interests, and you have to find which interests you have. But I realized, wait a minute, that's a little too intense.

Ann Marie:

What did you end up doing though? What meetup did you join?

Kim Alexis:

I didn't join any. I started volunteering at the hospital and I volunteered at an organic farm. So I was out planting. Oh my goodness. That's a lot of hard work. I have a lot of admiration for farmers.

Ann Marie:

Okay. Well, what, what, what do you want to do next? What's, what's something that you're working on or you'd like, you'd really like to accomplish or a couple of things? Um, I am still trying to, um, refine the men's journal. I'm only writing one article a day and I need to get up to three to five. So and then add video to it. So that's my new thing.

Kim Alexis:

That's a lot of copy, Kim. I'm a journalist. That's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. But it does. It makes the needle move and, and I just, I know that there's a lot of people out there that I can benefit, but I've been, as you said, tucked away and kind of hidden. So how do I get myself back out there to be able to have that voice to be able to encourage and help other people. So, one way is by just posting and doing and working more so that's where I'm at. I am developing a jail ministry with Dress for Success and St. Vincent de Paul. Uh, for women that are coming out of the jail system and are looking to get back in the workforce.

Ann Marie:

That is absolutely lovely. Wow. And do you do, are you interested at all in modeling anymore?

Kim Alexis:

No, no, not really. Nope. I mean, I, I did a shoot the other day and I realized, Oh my gosh, that's hard work. That was only like three hours. I used to do eight to 10 to 12.

Ann Marie:

Well, it's just so great to talk to you. I, I, it's, I think so many people are going to be delighted to hear more about your life and some really good tips there too. Thank you so, so much.

Kim Alexis:

Thank you.

Okay. So just popping back on to address a couple of things, actually just one thing, Kim sort of surprised me when she talked about being on hormone therapy, I guess, because she does have such a natural, um, way of moving about the world. But I also think that's really cool because it just shows that the two can coexist and do a coexist in many, many women. And I think that's a fallacy and it's something I still, I guess, kind of believe. Secondly, it's very controversial, the issue of pellets, and she has chosen the method of pellet delivery for estrogen and testosterone. She takes oral myconized progesterone at night. There are a lot of people out there that will tell you this is dangerous and unregulated. Yet, there are a lot of people doing it and people who know what they're doing and doing it. And women like him who really don't know what they would do without it. So this just is an example of how confusing this conversation is for a deeper dive on testosterone and testosterone pellets. I would go listen to episode 79 with Dr. Angela DeRosa. She is quite a testosterone expert. And next week we will have. Uh, another testosterone expert and academic, fingers crossed, next week we'll have. So I just wanted to come on and say that, that's not an issue without a whole, it's one of the most divisive issues in the midlife space. Thank you for listening. See you next time. Hot Flash Inc. was created and is hosted by Anne Marie McQueen, produced and edited by Sonia Mack. The information contained in this podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not intended for the purpose of diagnosing, treating, curing, or preventing any disease. Before using any products referenced on the podcast, consult with your health care provider, read all labels, and heed all directions and cautions that accompany the products. Information podcast should not be used in place of a consultation or advice from a health care provider. If you suspect you have a medical problem, i. e. menopause or anything else, or any healthcare questions, please promptly see your healthcare provider. This podcast, including Anne Marie McQueen and any producers or editors, disclaim any responsibility from any possible adverse effects from the use of any information contained herein. Opinions of guests on this podcast are their own and the podcast does not endorse or accept responsibility for statements made by guests. This podcast does not make any representations or warranties about a guest's qualifications or credibility. This podcast may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products or services. Individuals on this podcast may have direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to herein. This podcast is owned by Hot Flash Inc Media.

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